Saturday, May 25, 2013

Proof that God is me, anyway...

I was going to title this another way, but then I thought that maybe someone searching the internet might someday find this...and maybe it will help them believe.

I've been a believer in Jesus Christ, and by that I mean I believe that He is the Son of God and I trust Him...the Jesus of the Holy Bible...for about 25 years.  I was saved one day while attending church with a friend back in 1989.  It was awesome.  I sat in that church crying my eyes out over my sin and wanted God's love more than anything.  What an awesome God we serve.

However, there is one day in my life that cemented that He truly is alive, cares about, and is watching over me.  I have no doubt that the event I am going to describe to you could in no way have been a "coincidence."

This happened while we lived in Virginia.  My husband was in the Navy at the time, and we were stationed there.  We, well, let's just say that we didn't used to get along very well.  We had two children at the time, and I was pregnant with our oldest son.  I would get so frustrated at times that I would storm out of the apartment, get into the car, and drive off.  I didn't do this often, but if I did then it meant I had to leave before I would end up screaming my head off and destroying something in the house.  Yeah, I had quite the temper, and little tolerance for being treated unfairly.

So, off I went, driving to a nearby park to sit in my car and cry and try to figure out how to make this marriage work, and basically go on with life.  I started crying out to Jesus and was screaming something like, "If you REALLY exist and are REALLY hearing me then let me see you!  I can't stand this anymore!  Just come down here and tell me what I should do because I'm so sick of it!"  I ranted and raved for a few minutes, sat back in the car exhausted and bawling...calmed down, never expecting anything "miraculous" to happen, looked at the clock and saw that it was now 1:30pm (I had been there for about a half hour), and then drove home.  I went to my bedroom to lay down.

After resting for about an hour, I checked my email to see if I had any messages.  I had a message from a woman that I knew from a homeschooling forum that I used to go to a lot.  I barely knew her.  She had never emailed me before in the two or three years that we knew of each other on the forum, and I never really heard from her since.  Her email shocked me.  It said something like:  "Hi Tracey, I just wanted you to know that I felt very led to pray for you today.  I hope you are alright."

I sat there just staring at the email.  I thought, "Oh, this is just a coincidence, I'm sure...but I'm glad she told me."  I did, however, have a small ray of hope in me that maybe she felt led to do this while I was at that park.  So, I asked her, "Can you tell me about what time it was that you felt led to do this?"

She responded, "Yes, it was at 1:00pm..."  I couldn't believe it!  I responded and told her the miracle that she had just been a part of.  This small, little bit of "proof" that Jesus had given to her and I.  It still makes me smile.  Whenever I hear people trying to disprove the existence of mind goes back to that moment.  Of course, reading the Word of God daily feeds me more and more with faith and love and just knowing God...but that moment...that personal moment that I can look back at and say, "Yes...that was a sign for me."  Well, it means a lot.

Of course Jesus has done way more in me and my family's life than this.  He's doing things all the time!  However, that moment is undeniable.  No one can ever say it was anything else but Him.  Ever...

I will go to my grave believing...trusting...following...abiding...and obeying.

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